Say It Out Loud


Photo of my father and I circa 1986


Why is it easier to think it than write it? Why is it easier to write it than say it out loud?

In some cultures it is quite easy to say the words ‘I love you’ be it to your parents, siblings grandparents or significant other … In other cultures …. Not so! But does that mean those cultures and perspectives  are lacking in love?

I know growing up it would have been so awkward saying ‘thank you’ to my mother never mind those three words ‘I love you’! And neither did I ever hear it from my her either – yet, her actions and constant presence meant that not for a second did I doubt whether she loved me or not. We would often be the recepients of our father’s declarations of love … I wonder if I would have felt different had he too been so non-verbose. As a girl, I realise only in hindsight how important it was for me to have heard my father tell me multiple times that he loves us and is proud of us.

Growing up in England and now living and bringing up my own children in the USA … Makes me realize how the culture we live in WILL somehow seep through into you …hollywood with its ‘made in America’ stamp has been churning out its versions of  ‘I love you’ cliches ever since, like, forever.

Then there is the Bollywood ‘I Lowe yoo” which ALWAYS equates to romantic love so much so that once an only Kashur speaking relative in Kashmir said with much disgust ‘me Che kharan Tim quer, yem ‘lave lave’ Che karan’ (literally translated – I hate those girls who just love love ) and realistically translated – I’m disgusted by girls who are into boy friends and haram relationships! Needless to say my sister and I who were partial to the conversation could definitely see the irony in the statement and tried not to catch each other’s eye incase we burst into laughter!

How do you say ‘I love you’ and how easily do you say it in your home?

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1 Comment

  • Reply alsasha June 25, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    hehe – loved this post! In my family we also rarely said thanks or love you but there was never a shortage of actions or terms of endearment.. the terms usually being khrena maaz, bokwuht, jigar and zoow which when translated are body parts – liver, kidney, heart and spirit…

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